The Silence

12Took a silence on Friday and part of Saturday.. Everything did not go as planned but not knowing what to expect that did not surprise me. *pics below

I woke up with a migraine.. Ugh!! Took some Imitrex and went back to sleep.. I didn’t leave the house until 11;30am and reached my destination about 12pm. Just the drive without the radio, no music was wonderful. Hearing the sounds coming from the outdoors such as traffic, people, birds, planes, etc…. gave me a sense of freedom.. Like I was on an adventure.. A journey ❤

14

When I arrived at the park, I walked deep into the woods. I no longer heard traffic but I did hear some children in the distant.. I must go further. The weather is perfect and the sounds of nature are mesmerizing. When I came to a choice of trails, I took the one that appeared least traveled. Then I walked and walked and walked.. Note to self: Next silence in the woods, bring a blanket to sit on 🙂

Like I said, the sense of freedom was exhilarating. I worried some for my furbaby Smokey I left at home. But I knew he was OK and I just redirected my thoughts when they popped in my head.. Knowing that I was completely alone, ALL ALONE! No kids, No animals, no one to be responsible for or “look out” for made me feel something that I have rarely EVER felt.. And I liked it. I loved it! And yes, I want some more of it 😉

photo 2

3:00pm- Pure Serenity, Total Bliss, Perfect Harmony! Need I say more? This will definitely be added on my monthly to-do list..

22I got a lot accomplished today.. I know I was in silence but freeing my mind of all the bullshit that usually occupies it, I was able to THINK… and with that I had all sorts of ideas that popped in my head.. Ideas for my business, for my home, for my family. I made sure to write each down as they came to me. I done a lot of soul searching.. Although I didn’t have any “spiritual” experiences, or any “dragons” come out, I can see these things happening in near future.photo 5

I went home and continued my silence (the best I could given the circumstances) and continued until about 2pm on Saturday. I will admit, I found myself unable to sleep with no TV. Something I need to work on, but should I really feel the need to cut it out? I LOVE falling asleep to the sounds of the Golden Girls.. I sleep easier, faster and wake up feeling refreshed so is it really a “bad” thing after all?

To sum it all up? It was an experience that I definitely needed in my life. I woke up my senses, cleared my mind and gave me a fresh new outlook on life. I look forward to the next one ❤

7 9 10 11 13 photo 3 photo 4  photo 6

Advertisements

Week 24- My Dragon, the Prodigal Son

Week 23: The Silence

The silence really intrigues me..  Although I have not had the opportunity to commit yet, I want to practice a few hours while the kids are in school.  I love listening to the testimonials.. especially the guy that had a “spiritual experience”.. Spring break is coming up and I will have the opportunity to commit for at least 2 days while my children are at their dads house..

I am also having issues with my fiancee and his understanding of how important this is to me. He seems to think this is about him apparently and he sees this as me “leaving” him to go off and do whatever….. I am curious if anyone else has had these issues and how they overcame them..?

I have been doing my 7 day mental diet this week. I had to start over each day but it’s lasting longer. I find the more I “sit” the less stressed I become over little things..

Week 22a: My new life..

I admit,, I have been slacking here. Do I have an excuse? You bet I do! Does it matter? Not at all….! Because that only means that I allowed my “excuses” to stop me from doing what I know I should do. And I know better than that. I also know that the main issue that was preventing me from keeping up here is no longer an issue so I will have no problem anymore in keeping up with my blog entries.

I also know that there are only a few more weeks left in the MKMMA and I am putting 110% effort into the finale. I have had some emotional ups and downs through this process, but overall, my life has changed DRASTICALLY since starting this process and I owe it all to Mark, Davene, Marea and my amazing good friends Marie and Henrietta that have also guided me along the way.

Today, I read some comments from an earlier post I made and it made me cry. Not sure why.. Maybe because I realized that people DO understand and I DO have people in my corner? Maybe because I realized just how far I have come in my progress? Maybe it opened my eyes and made me realize that a lot of the issues I was having were indeed of my own making? Whatever the reasons, it made me cry and they were indeed happy tears.

I am not a writer, as a matter of fact I hate writing.. I usually just start typing what comes off the top of my head.. And right now all I can think is how blessed and privileged I feel to have been a part, and continue to be a part of this AMAZING and TRANSFORMATIONAL journey with the MKMMA ❤

Week 17: Tough Week

Tough week

I am usually pretty positive, and I am surrounded by constant negativity and naysayers and I can pretty much ignore it. This week has been much more difficult. Sometimes the degrading remarks and comments hit me so hard I have a tough time getting back up. And that’s where I am now.

How do you cope with it when it’s your own family that hurts you and is always trying to bring you down??

I am a single mom that has raised 5 boys and I have always worked 1-2 jobs and put myself through college. I was gone a lot and paid a lot to babysitters and that was all ok because I was doing what everyone said I should be doing. But now I am building my business from home. I no longer have to pay a babysitter and I have been able to raise my younger boys myself and not let some daycare do it for me. I have freedom I never had before. I get to go places I only dreamed of going before. My life seems pretty peachy hey?

What people don’t see is that when I come home from a 2-3 day event for my business, I have to hear from everyone how I “abandoned” my kids to go off and have “fun”. How I should be home and not in another city with people I don’t even know. How I care more about myself than I do my kids because I left them for a couple days?

But yet, it was ok to leave them EVERYDAY when I was working a JOB??

Yesterday was my sons 18th birthday and because of my time freedom, I was able to take him out to eat and to see a movie at the theatre. Only to come home and have my angry 21 year old yell at me and tell me what a horrible parent I am because he had to watch his brothers and that is my job and not his. The same 21 year old that has a baby on the way, no job, sleeps all day and I am supporting???

Ok maybe this post was a vent. But I spend so much time and energy making my life better, and sometimes it just seems I’m doing it all in vain. I know he has teenage angst, and I know I’m doing the right thing, but listening to this from him, from his dad and everyone else constantly, it starts to seem like there’s truth to what they say.

They are part of the 95%, including my son. How can I turn them off when they live with me? I don’t have many friends and I don’t go out much, so even though I am part of this amazing alliance, I still feel so alone.

Week 13: DMP is happening

All I can say is that my life is nothing now as it was only 3 months ago. Things I thought were in my life forever are now gone and things I never thought would happen are happening. I can see my DMP happening in my near future.

It has been bittersweet but it has also been liberating because I know what happens from this point forward is 100% up to me. That is all I will say for now!

Week 13- I will persist

I will persist until I succeed! I have read this scroll 67 times so far this month, but only today did it sink in.

My old blueprint has been kicking in. Old man procrastination. I tell myself that I have valid reasons (excuses) for falling behind, and I may do, but I know that if I allow my procrastination to override my persistence, then there will ALWAYS be a new excuse. I am also aware that I will be attracting more and more reasons to NOT complete what I started.

Today is day 23 of the month, but it is day 1 of ME. Day 1 with NO excuses. For each reason I find to procrastinate, I will find 2 ways to overcome that challenge! Today I begin a new life.